Americon on Fire
Americon says, "Hello, fellow Decepticons! How are you doing in--OH GEEZE I'M ON FIRE!" Geo says, "Poor americon." Sinnertwin says, "Not on fire, so I'm fine." FEED ME!!! Gnaw says, "Mmmmm...roast turkeeeeyyyyyy." Scrapper says, "Americon, what happened?!" Americon says, "Ouch. Well, that's good, Sinnertwin. But don't worry about me, guys. I'm made of metal so I should be ok for a while." <:D Catechism says, "Where are you, Americon?" Sinnertwin echoes Gnaw's enthusiam, "Roast turrrkkkey." Scrapper says, "Whatever you do, don't touch the fire retardant foam." <:D Catechism says, "Don't make me waterboard you." Arachnae says, "Yes! One more on my list!" FEED ME!!! Gnaw says, "Wait...not whip energon cream?" Americon says, "I'm in a forest in Spain somewhere. It is also catching on fire. And I'm not sure how it happened!" Scrapper says, "Better to burn alive, Americon. Better to bu- wait... do you get credit for this, Arachnae?" Arachnae says, "If I can get a good set of parts, yes I indeedy do!" Scrapper says, "Remind me again why you're listed as a Sweep instead of where you belong?" Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder says, "who's listed as a Sweep?" Arachnae says, "You lost that round of poker." Scrapper says, "Arachnae." Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder says, "Because she is one!" Scrapper says, "Well fiddlesticks to that!" Americon says, "I'm still on fire, and the forest is also burning. You're saying I should just stay here?" FEED ME!!! Gnaw says, "Stay. I get...*makes munching noises*" Scrapper says, "Soundwave do you want us to go save Americon?" Arachnae says, "Oooh.. I have hands from one, what should I get from this one?" Soundwave says, "Analyzing.." Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder says, "Feet?" Arachnae says, "Hmm. flashing lights..." <:D Catechism says, "Doors." Scrapper says, "Talking like you've got a glitch isn't going to trick me into thinking you're a Sweep, Arachnae." FEED ME!!! Gnaw says, "Doors best part...*omnomnomnom...*" Scrapper says, "Nice try, though." Americon says, "Ok, my paint job has been completely burned off." <:D Catechism says, "Americon, *where* are you?" Soundwave says, "Affirmative, Scrapper. Retrieve Americon." Scrapper says, "Alright, but you owe us." Americon says, "I told you! A forest in Spain! Somewhere. Just look for the fire!" Scrapper has arrived. Sinnertwin says, "Can't he just /fly/ out?" Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder says, "You didn't have Singe with you, did you?" Scrapper says, "Soundwave, if you could get us his transponder codes..." Gnaw has arrived. Arachnae says, "No, real flashing lights you greenie meenie. Systems indicate that I've managed to get myself a little Red Alert action. The rarest of the trio of that line to come out and play. Now... what to keep.." Americon says, "Hm. I suppose I could fly... ARGH A TREE! A tree just fell on me! Argh! *Argh.*" Sinnertwin says, "Huh." Catechism has arrived. Sinnertwin says, "Well, so much for that." Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder says, "If a tree falls in the forest and hits Americon...? Oh never mind..." Scrapper says, "...alright maybe she is a Sweep." Americon says, "I would use my mighty robot strength to push it off, but the tree is much bigger than me!" Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder says, "/Maybe?!/" Arachnae says offhandedly, "Eventually the fire will burn through it." F-35B Lightning II transforms into robot form. Catechism's feet unfold, her arms unfold out of her body, her nosecone rotates through her body and ends up on her body, and her wings rotate into position at her hips. Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder says, "My dear Scrapper, Arachnae is as much a Sweep as I or Scourge." Sinnertwin says, "I suppose Americon will have to wait untill his energy runs out and he goes offline. By himself. In the forest. On fire." Arachnae says, "Pah, I am a decepticon." Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder says, "Indeed you are." Somewhere in Spain, a fire rages in a forest. Critters of all varieties flee in terror from it as a swath of destruction, uh, destroys the forest. And in the middle of that fire, a very large tree has fallen over and burns fiercely. Is Americon under it? Shade says, "There are worse ways to die." Soundwave says, "Americon, activate emergency subspace locator beacon." Scrapper says, "Insulting Arachnae isn't going to win her over, Sunder." Scrapper says, "Believe me, I should know. I've tried it." Soundwave apparently built one of those in there, or something. Maybe he's just telling him to yell alot on the radio. Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder snorts. "Insult her? Isn't that what you're trying to do?" Americon says, "Mrrrrf!" Arachnae says, "Aww, Scrapper, you know you're the light in my core.. OR was that the light that ruined my collodial suspension experiment. I forget." Americon does activate the beacon, though. F-35B Lightning II is carrying all the accoutrements to waterboard a cassette tape. Will this... do anything to him? Not really. However, she knows that Americon thinks that waterboarding is a horrible torture. She flies over the fire and transforms, bucket of water in hand as she searches for Americon. F-35, Marine Corps variant, transforms into robot form. Catechism's feet unfold, her arms unfold out of her body, her nosecone rotates through her body and ends up on her shoulders to expose her face, and her wings rotate into position. Scrapper says, "A little of column A, a little of column B..." A walking ball of spiny, toothy Shark, dragging its macelike tail behind it, approaches the forest fire. This is supposed to be a "rescue" of some kind...but Gnaw is hungry as usual, and when he finds the cassette-birdie trapped under a burning tree, his first instinct is to eat. So he eats the tree. If he's not careful, he might accidentally(?) take a chunk out of Americon. Somewhere in Spain, a lime green payloader rages in a forest. Critters of all varieties flee in terror from it as a swath of destruction plows through the forest. Scrapper's power shovel makes short work of the thick and ancient trees, and his heavy off road wheels aren't terribly slowed by the rough terrain. This is where it's good to be a big bulky vehicle. Up ahead, Scrapper can see the smoke as the fire rages out of control. "I swear... first Arachnae and now Americon. This Empire is going to the pit in a toolbox." A forest fire is out of control in central Spain. Authorities have cordoned off the area and firefighting efforts have begun. The cause of the fire is currently unknown. As the tree is eaten, its burning remains reveal... nothing. "Not that tree! The other one!" Americon says from somewhere. Also, the Decepticons will notice that the area Americon's locator beacon is transmitting from is soaked in gasoline. Somehow. <:D Catechism says, "Americon... gasoline is a liquid, but it is a flammable liquid." Americon says, "What do you mean by that?" <:D Catechism says, "You didn't douse yourself with gasoline trying to put out the fire, did you?" Ramhorn has arrived. Ramhorn has left. Americon says, "Well, no. I *was* driving this fuel truck around..." Americon says, "I had stolen it! Haha!" Catechism knows a bit about flammable materials, due to her demolition training, and she also knows that her puny bucket of water is going to be no match whatsoever for this blaze. She is woefully underprepared, having underestimated the depth of Americon's incompetence. She calls over to Scrapper, "Can you load your shovel with water from a local body of water?" Payloader 's horrible trail of destruction, which makes a strange curvy line when viewed from above, slowly meanders towards Americon's signal. Finally, once he reaches the burning section, Scrapper transforms into robot mode and charges forward, braving the flames and the smoke because, like 99% of the Transformer race, minor fires and trees aren't going to stop him. "Sure, if you find a lake nearby," Scrapper replies to Catechism. "If Mixmaster were here I bet he'd have an acid or something that would put him out." Payloader transforms into robot mode. Commander Shockwave says, "And did you have a plan for getting a truck to the undersea base?" Arachnae says, "Really big pontoons" Americon says, "Yeah, something like that!" Scrapper says, "We could just let it sink to the bottom of the ocean and then test the... you know whats for the mission to get it." Arachnae says, "Thems." The Sharkticon gnaws through one tree, then waddles over to where he hears Americon's voice. And starts gnawing on that tree. He's probably going to get really good and sick from eating trees, being as he's a carnivore. Or maybe a bite of Americon will hit the spot and cure the problem... Commander Shockwave says, "That suggestion has merit." Scrapper says, "Those That Cannot Be Mentioned On An Open Frequency." The next tree that Gnaw eats... also doesn't have Americon under it. But there is a tree right next to it, and a little blackened arm waves at the Sharkticon from under it. "No, no, this one! This one, damn you!" Americon says, "It doesn't matter at this point, the truck is probably on fire by now!" The truck is, indeed, on fire. <:D Catechism says, "I would suspect so." Catechism transforms back to jet mode and attempts to scout for a river, lake, reservoir, or other large body of water that is relatively nearby. She is actually a competent scout, so if there is anything nearby, she should be able to find it pretty easily. F-35B Lightning II transforms into robot form. Catechism's feet unfold, her arms unfold out of her body, her nosecone rotates through her body and ends up on her body, and her wings rotate into position at her hips. Commander Shockwave says, "Let this be a lesson to you in establishing secure supply lines before attempting to move supplies along them, Americon." Commander Shockwave says, "You ignore the well-established principles of logistics at your peril. The peril of catching on fire." Scrapper says, "Where did you even get the fuel from, anyway?" Americon says, "Damn, now I know!" There is a nearby pond, but the gasoline seeped into it, lighting it on fire as well. <:D Catechism says, "No two things are not on fire." Commander Shockwave says, "And knowing is fifty percent of the battle, plus or minus two percent standard deviation." Several miles away, there is a river that is not on fire, but it will take longer to get water from there. Scrapper watches as Catechism leaves. "Hey!" he calls out. "How about we just carry Americon to the water? At your speed it'd only be a little bit of burning, and I could repair whatever damage is done. Easier than me shovelling it all the way over!" F-35B Lightning II protests, 'You want to put a burning cassette inside my cockpit? But my upholstry! My avionics! Scrapper, you will *owe* me for this." Her tone turns very dark indeed. She Seekers wings over, back toward Americon, grudgingly opening her cockpit. Robotic Bald Eagle is still currently under the tree Gnaw hasn't eaten yet. Americon undergoes a patriotic transformation into his All-American robot mode! In robot mode, that is. Gnaw gnaws through yet another tree. This has GOTTA be the right one, doesn't it? Well...? Steeltread arrives from Paris, France to the northeast. Steeltread has arrived. Scrapper looks up at Catechism. He takes a step back, as if wounded. "Whoa, whoa, if it's going to cause me to owe you then forget about it... Soundwave didn't sound like this was all /that/ important or anything." Scrapper looks back at the fires raging all around him. "I mean we can just make a new Americon, right?" The Sharkticon eats this tree as well, and... "AAAARRRGH!" Americon cries. His leg is currently stuck between Gnaw's fangs. "Argh, my leg! Oh, Primus he's got me! We're under attack! Ahhh!" Pulling out his blasters, Americon begins to fire them in random directions, causing more trees to fall over. F-35B Lightning II hovers in the area, her engine doubtless fanning the flames. She parrots, "'No one drives the Constructicons!' Do you think us Seekers like having passengers, either? Have you ever thought about that, Scrapper? I mean, if Americon wasn't on fire, maybe I'd give him a ride, but he's on fire. Don't you medics have, I dunno, something to deal with fires?" Scrapper claps his hands as Gnaw nearly bites Americon in two, "Found him!" he calls out. He can't really see Americon all that well due to all the smoke, but he can certainly hear Americon. Looking up at Catechism, the Constructicon scowls inwardly. "Something to deal with fires, huh? Some kind of... /foam/, perhaps? Some kind of /foam/ that /retards/ /fire/, hmm? That's disgusting, Catechism. You should be ashamed of yourself." Ignoring Americon's screams, Gnaw continues contentedly chewing on the leg that is stuck between his teeth. He may need some convincing to let go. F-35B Lightning II stares at Scrapper, as best a jet can, and she insists, "Nonono, you're the sick one for even suggesting that. I meant *coolant*." Duh. "Coolant isn't very cool," Scrapper replies. Behind him, Americon is being eaten while firing in all directions. One of the blaster bolts misses Scrapper by that much, but he doesn't notice. "Unless you're suggesting we just use coolant to wet Americon so that the fire won't consume him alive?" Americon wails in pain as his leg is chewed on, and increases his weapons fire. Some of the blasts hit a very tall tree, and it begins to tip over, falling towards the Sharkticon. Americon succeeds in grasping Sharkticon , throwing him off-balance. *WHACK* The falling tree whallops the Sharkticon right on the snout, causing him to stop chewing on Americon. However the leg is still stuck in his teeth. Someone's goona have to pull him out. F-35B Lightning II tilts to one side and sighs, "Yes, Scrapper, Americon could certainly use a wetting. A non-flammable wetting." "Very well, Catechism." Scrapper makes a grand gesture towards Americon without actually looking at him (or Gnaw). "By all means. Put Americon out with your plan." When the tree fell on the Sharkticon, this seemed to cause him to bite down hard on Americon's leg, going halfway through the armor. "Aieee! Someone help! The Dinobot's almost got me!" And he follows that up with more random laser blasts. Scrapper looks over his shoulder towards Gnaw and Americon. "It's not a Dinobot. It's a Sharkticon," he says. Having corrected the Cassetticon of his mistake, Scrapper looks back up at Catechism, putting his hands on his hips as he waits. F-35B Lightning II transforms and dumps her pathetic bucket of water in the general direction of Americon. It may make him less on fire, but it will not rectify the core problem. She hisses, "Scrapper, *do* you have any non-flammable liquid in your medical kit? Because I only brought enough water to waterboard Americon." Scrapper rubs his temples with a lime green hand. "No... no I don't have any non-flammable liquid on me." He does have lighter fluid in his medical kit for reasons that do not need explaining at this time. "Hey I have an idea!" he suddenly exclaims, brightening up. "How about our new pet Sharkticon grabs a hold of Americon sort of like how he has him in his jaws right now, and then /you/ grab onto the Sharkticon so you don't get burned, and then you fly to the upper atmosphere where the air is thinner and there won't be enough oxygen to keep the fire going?" The Sharkticon stares blankly at Scrapper but does not object. If he even understands. Americon yells, "That's a Sharkticon!? Oh, no!" More red, white, and blue lasers sizzle through the forest before the tape yells, "Wait, we have some working for us now. That's right. So why is it biting me? That really hurts!" F-35B Lightning II transforms to jet mode, yet again, which seems to be doing all the time in this scene, and she shoots out a grappling hook at the Sharkticon, trying to implement Scrapper's devious plan of using the atmosphere against the fire. Catechism succeeds in grasping Sharkticon , throwing him off-balance. Americon also was briefly not on fire, thanks to the water splashed on him. However, since he was still covered in some gasoline and surrounded by blazing hot fires, he immediately caught on fire again, after only a short respite. Scrapper lifts up into the air to follow Catechism, even though he's naturally going to lag way behind. "Or I guess you could dump them into the river. Whichever is closer, but keep in mind that when submerged Sharkticons tend to go into a feeding frenzy." He read that somewhere, so it must be true. Even if it isn't. Gnaw is just happy to have dinner self-cooking right in his mouth. F-35B Lightning II realises something, "Sir, if I fly high enough to put out the fire, I'll probably gutter out my own engine. I'm not a U-2 or a rocketplane, you know," but she will be. Oh yes, she will be. Someday. "So I'm going to implement Project: Dump Americon in the river that's not on fire." She jets over in that direction. Americon looks around himself as he begins to rise up into the air. "Wow, it looks like the whole forest is on fire!" he yells. And indeed, the devastation wrought to the forest is horrific to behold. It may take generations for this place to heal from its blackened wounds. Scrapper soars after Catechism, flying in the classic Decepticon Superman flight pose. "Very well. The feeding frenzy is a risk that I'm willing for Americon to take." Scrapper meanwhile thinks about how well this all turned out. Gnaw gets a free meal and Catechism and Scrapper get the credit for a heroic rescue of a comrade. Sounds like a win for everybody. And yet, Americon has not yet outdone Sky Lynx. Fail one for the Decepticons. Once she is to the river that is not on fire, the F-35 attempts to drop Gnaw and Americon into the river. Catechism flies above, circling like a vulture, to complete the metaphor. Caw caw caw. The Sharkticon is mesmerized by the passing scenery, as he's held by his tail and carried off to the water. Once he's dropped in, he'll probably get really hungry and try to eat Americon. The tape-bot already smells nicely roasted from the gasoline-powered flames. SPLOOSH! Americon is dropped into the river, and tries to say something, but it comes out as a bunch of bubbles instead. He does not suspect the peril he may be in. Americon says, "*bubble bubble*" Arachnae says, "I got the sca-aaans.. I got the sca-aaans.. I'm going to clone him.. I got the sca-aans.." FEED ME!!! Gnaw says, "OM NOM NOM NOM NOM" Scrapper watches Americon and Gnaw fall. He watches them until they splash and hit the river. He then looks over at Catechism and gives her the respectful nod of a job well done. And theeeeeeeeere's the feeding frenzy! Gnaw gnashes his jaws repeatedly, as contact with the water reminds him that he's still hungry. Ooooh delicious tapebot "chicken" legs. Om nom nom... You evade Sharkticon 's grasp attack. <:D Catechism says, "...who are you cloning?" Americon is briefly glad to see that the Sharkticon's maw is open, and snatches his leg out. However, he realizes that Gnaw only opened his jaw as part of a chewing action. "Blrrmmf!" Americon says under the water, and swims to the shore of the river. He scrabbles out on his hands and knees, yelling, "Help, he's gonna get me!" Arachnae says, "Red. Alert. I'm going to make copies of him, dozens and set them free on Earth!" Geo says, "I like this plan." Astrotrain says, "I don't." Astrotrain says, "Who wants to see more Red Alerts?" Arachnae says, "I do. Oh, I do do. Lots of them." FEED ME!!! Gnaw says, "I can eat clones?" Scrapper says, "Won't they all just join up with the Autobots?" Astrotrain says, "Blech." Scrapper says, "Or are you hoping for that thing where clones end up trying to kill each other all the time?" Geo says, "I can arm them with super explosives to blow up the Autobots." <:D Catechism says, "Ugh. I *hate* Red Alert." Arachnae says, "Ahh, Scrapper, you know as well as I that clones are never the exact copy of their original, there will be.l flaws.. lovely delicious, evil flaws." Astrotrain says, "He'd still look goofy." Scrapper says, "Are they going to be joining the Decepticons, then?" Duh-dunt. Duh-dunt. Duh-dunt-duh-dunt-duh-dunt... Arachnae says, "They're just fodder for chaos and confusion." F-35B Lightning II sighs, long-suffering, and she shoots a handy-dancy GRAPPLOX-brand grappling hook at Americon, to hopefully pull him out of the Sharkticon-infested river. Scrapper says, "Ah ha. Well, it worked on us." Catechism succeeds in grasping Americon, throwing him off-balance. <:D Catechism says, "Could I have one to repeatedly explode?" Arachnae says, "Certainly" Astrotrain says, "That reminds me. I still want a pet sharkticon." If Scrapper knew anything about the human sport known as 'fishing' as he watches Catechism snag onto Americon and try dragging him up over Gnaw's head, he would have a very snappy comment to make right now. Sadly Scrapper doesn't know anything about fishing and therefore does not have anything snappy to say. "Looks like Americon is... hooked on you, huh?" Scrapper looks to see if Catechism is laughing at the joke. See? Not snappy. Arachnae says, "You're on your own for that." Americon says, "Don't let him get wet!" Scrapper says, "You can have the one we're using right now if you want." Astrotrain says, "Really? Okay!" <:D Catechism says, "...okay, so Arachnae is my new favourite Decepticon." Astrotrain says, "Waaaait a minute. What've you done to it?" Arachnae says, "Wha?" There is a fin in the water. Clearly visible, it heads for Americon. Jaws open wide as the "fish" leaps out of the water... Scrapper says, "Because of the repeated exploding, Catechism?" Gnaw succeeds in grasping Americon, throwing him off-balance. <:D Catechism sighs dreamily, "Yes." Astrotrain says, "Have you given it like, a third leg or something?" Scrapper says, "Sounds like Arachnae did a good job." <:D Catechism says, "We may have fed it part of Americon, but I'm sure he's edible." Arachnae says, "Ahh. Well, for this.. plan, I will need.. lots of parts. Lots of autobot and car parts.. And paint. And.. and.. Oooog, shiny." Scrapper says, "Specifically, a good engineering job." Arachnae says, "Scrapper! Have you seen my hands?" Scrapper says, "I... no." Astrotrain says, "Hmmm. If I'm gonna get a pet sharkticon, I'm gonna need a leash. And a collar." Astrotrain says, "Ooh and a name!" Onslaught says, "A pet what, Astrotrain? Whatever would you want such a thing for?" Americon gasps, watching the fin. "Oh, no! It's still coming right at me!" He grabs at Catechism's grappling hook, and grins, thinking he is at last safe. But it turns out, like in so many aquatic horror movies, to be too little, too late. The Sharkticon's maw wraps around his legs, and he wails as the Quintesson monster pulls him back under the water. There's some struggling, then a red liquid stains the river. Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder says, "Well at least he's not asking for a pet 'Sweepcub'." Arachnae says, "I got new hands, they're so deliciouslly creepy. They have optic-stalks!" Astrotrain says, "I think the question is why -wouldn't- I want a pet sharkticon? So there!" Americon says, "No! My secret compartment of red paint!" You know, the Fleet says, proudly, "The optic-stalks were my idea!" Onslaught says, "Well, it's on your own account when they attempt to eat through your hull." Arachnae says, "Yes, Fleet did help me. It was glorious." F-35B Lightning II keeps pulling on the line, engaging in some weird tug of war between a jet and a shark, because as everyone knows, robots bleed pink, not red, so Americon must be okay. Her logic is infallible. Scrapper says, "You're just trying to get me to recant on my efforts to reassign you, aren't you?" Arachnae says, "What? Huh?" Scrapper says, "I've kept Scavenger in MSE for stupider things than this, so you can just keep trying." Scrapper watches as Gnaw leaps out of the water and snags Americon. There's a pretty epic tug-of-war, and Scrapper nods, clearly impressed by the finesse on both sides. "Our pet is pretty agile," he says. "Do you need help reeling Americon in?" he asks. Arachnae says, "What is stupid about a set of roaming hands with sensory applications inset into the phalanges and optical units for data recieving. They also have the drone alpha programming without the secondary mode so they're rather tractable." Scrapper says, "Could they be adapted to serve as rocket fists?" Gnaw is still, well, gnawing, as he holds on. But if they tug too hard, maybe he'll wind up with Americon's lower half? Or maybe they'll have to airlift Americon to the Medical Ward with a Sharkticon hanging off his torso. Arachnae says, "No, they're more for the creep factor. Rocket launch application would mean that the sensory portions would get damaged too easily." Americon refuses to let go of the line, and so, when Catechism pulls, Americon is pulled up, as well. However, Gnaw is undoubtedly still attached to him. The patriotic tape looks fiercely determined to stay alive despite the vicious monster which was latched itself to his legs and has tasted his ener-blood. "Never... give up... never... give in... that is the American way!" he growls. Scrapper puts his hands on his hips. They have Americon and Gnaw dangling from Catechism. At least the former is no longer on fire. "Well now we have a completely different problem!" he exclaims in his best 'gee golly gee!' voice. Scrapper's normal tone is pretty gruff, though, so it doesn't come across very well. F-35B Lightning II continues to tug, thankful that she can hover, and she asks, "Scrapper, do you have any Sharkticon treats, by any chance? Something to distract Gnaw?" Gnaw has stopped gnawing, suddenly realizing he needs to hold on. However, his teeth are driving down deeper and deeper to try to stay suspended. He might up biting Americon in half if this keeps up. Americon is, meanwhile, screaming at the top of his lungs. Poor guy. He was only trying to help the cause. Scrapper hovers next to Catechism. He takes out his medical kit. It is like a normal first aid kit except where normally the red cross would go, there's a purple Decepticon insignia. "Lets see... ah, here we go. This energon is normally for transfusions and the like but it should do, right?" Scrapper tucks the kit back into a hip compartment and holds three energon sticks. He lowers down to where Americon and Gnaw are dangling. He tries to remember the universal greeting for this kind of thing. "Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah wheep ni ni bong!" he says. He waves the energon sticks in front of Gnaw for a few moments before letting go, hoping that the Sharkticon will go after the treats instead of continuing to eat Americon. Scrapper isn't hoping really /hard/ or anything, mind. But hoping nonetheless. Gnaw sees the treats and opens his mouth to grab at them. He manages to stuff them into his mouth before falling back into the water. Americon breathes out a sigh of relief as the monster finally lets go of him. His legs dangle uselessly under him. "It's.... over," he gasps out, and manages a weak smile. "It's... really over." Whirl descends from the skies above. Whirl has arrived. Scrapper looks back up at Catechism, "Heh, he's a speedy little one..." he removes the last remaining energon sticks he has and hovers away from Americon and the shark. He drops them into the river, trying to lure Gnaw away from the Cassetticon so that Americon can be hoisted to freedom. "Come on, sharky... come on! Come get the energon... forget about eating America. There's time for that later." Thutta thutta thutta. That's the sound a helicopter makes, by the way. A blue helicopter. A blue helicopter THAN TURNS IN TO A ROBOT, HOLY COW! Overdramatic enthusiasm aside, Whirl is here to save the Spanish forests from a crispy and terrible fate. He's even got one of those big-ass water buckets hanging off of him, dripping and splashing all over the place. "It's a good thing I had this laying around." F-35B Lightning II sees Whirl coming with her nifty scouting sensors. Whirl, the dreaded Wrecker, so badass that he makes baby blue badass. She knows that she can't stand up to him today. She has only one chance to make her time and survive. She must take off every zig. Catechism releases the hook and zooms, fleeing the scene. Catechism retreats from the area swiftly, outdistancing all pursuit and parting shots. Gnaw continues to lurk in the water. Just the tip of his fin visible. If Whirl goes to fill up his bukkit, he's in for a nasty surprise... For those just joining us, Scrapper, Americon, Gnaw, and previously Catechism are by a river that is near where a forest fire is raging. Authorities are on the scene, cutting fire breaks so it cannot get out of control. Tackling the main fire is just about to begin. Whatever the trio of Decepticons are doing, however, is a mystery to everyone except for them. The Constructicon floats down towards Americon. "So, how are you feeling?" he asks in a casual manner. "FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIREEEEEE!" Whirl screams out before proceeding to dump the entire buckets contents all over a single tree, instantly putting it out. Unfortunately, that doesn't keep if from catching fire again a whopping four seconds later. Obviously there's a strategy to this. The helicopter hovers over to the convienient river to refill and try again. Americon shrugs, a bit of soot falling off of him. "I dunno, I've felt better," he tells Scrapper, looking very bleary-eyed. "Too bad about that fire, though. At least it didn't happen in AMERICAAAAAA...." This last part he yells out because Catechism is air-lifing him away. Gnaw misses Bell AH-1 Cobra with his grasp attack. A Sharkticon leaps out of the water, gnashing and snapping at the bucket! Oooh he looks hungry. Didn't he just eat, like, 5 minutes ago? Oh well, he has the memory retention of a goldfish anyway... Scrapper is soaring away from the fire and the river, watching what's left of Americon be towed by Catechism. "Yes... good thing." Glancing behind him, he catches sight of an unusual helicopter being snapped at by their pet Sharkticon. Scrapper considers his options. Do I try to get Gnaw back, wait and see what happens, or abandon Gnaw and see if he makes it home on his own? Decisions, decisions. Bell AH-1 Cobra is a helicopter with ADHD. Because of this, he's too distracted with the bucket filling to even notice the Sharkticon trying it's best to devour him, and so poor little Gnaw gets scooped up along with the water. Oh what a cruel fate! The Sharkticon gets scooped! He sits around in the water for awhile, but then decides to start climbing up the cable connecting the bukkit to Whirl. After all, there's a tasty Autobot at the end of the line... Gnaw succeeds in grasping Bell AH-1 Cobra , throwing him off-balance. Scrapper hesitates, but doesn't move to help Gnaw. The Constructicon has two reasons for this. First, he knows how much Whirl hurts. Second, he knows how hilarious this could be. He lowers himself down towards the tree line, doing about as well as a lime green flying robot can do at keeping out of sight. Bell AH-1 Cobra moves over to a group of burning trees (who would be screaming out in agony and cursing Americon if they were able to) and dumps the water aaallll over them. There is a problem, though. The bucket is empty, yet his sensors are reading a weight that shouldn't be there. There is only one conclusion. "HELP! HELP! I'M UNDER ATTACK! MAY DAY, MAY DAY!" In true Whirl fashion, the helicopter begins to fly into various trees. Poor little Gnaw doesn't know what May Day is. All he knows is, he wants to eat the Autobot at the end of the rope. Unfortunately, the flying into trees thing is sorta hampering that right now. Gnaw misses Bell AH-1 Cobra with his bite attack. All across the forest, trees shake, quiver, and bend as the helicopter makes sure to smack into as many as possible. Some of them are deeply scarred by his rotors, others get to keep little momentos of this scenerio as pieces of his chasis embed themselves into their bark. That heavy and obnoxious weight is still there. This strategy isn't working at all. Quickly, Whirl opts for Plan B... ..Which consists of going ditching the bucket, going into robot mode, and falling down. A far, far way down. In a series of seperating, and splitting parts, Whirl transforms into his robot mode. The Sharkticon is also falling. While he's not too bright, he does start spinning so that he can try to fall and impact upon Whirl on the way down. Sharkball in the corner pocket? Gnaw succeeds in grasping Whirl, throwing him off-balance. Falling sucks. Falling sucks even more when you're in a forest. Falling sucks even more than that when you hit /every single branch/ on the way down. This just happens to be the amount of suck that Whirl is experiencing right now. Sure, most of the branches instantly snap once colliding with his body, but there are those select few that wedge themselves into the crevices of his armor and limbs and break off inside as gravity takes its toll on the Wrecker. It's only a matter of seconds before robot meets ground with a thunderous crash and flying debris. All is still for a moment, and Whirl silent thanks God for his survival. And then Gnaw lands on top of him with a sickening crunch. And Gnaw, being Gnaw, wants to eat the Autobot he's landed on. So when he stops squirming and rights himself, he tries to nibble at the prone flattened form of Whirl in front of him. Gnaw misses Whirl with his bite attack. Just as Gnaw goes in for the kill, so to speak, Whirl picks that exact moment to rise from the crater he created. Oh, and it's not one of those gradual 'pushing yourself off' type of rises, it's the explosive kind you'd expect from the Hulk (if the Hulk was a blue robot). Fists raised truimpthantly in the air, Whirl tries to throw the Sharkticon off. "FREEDOM!" Whirl strikes Sharkticon with GIVE ME FREE!. Gnaw is temporarily thwarted from eating Whirl, by Whirl's fists. But the Sharkticon is not deterred, not just yet. The beast charges again, attempting to claw Whirl's face. Or something. Does Whirl even /have/ a face, to begin with? Gnaw misses Whirl with his claw attack. Scrapper has left. Steeltread moves northeast to Paris, France. Steeltread has left. It's hard to claw a face when there's no face to claw. Seriously, it's just a head with a little red light that blinkyblinks when he talks. Whirl hefts his right arm into the air, the big, black, null-ray module that subsitutes as a hand gleaming malevolently as the light from the burning trees dance across it. "Get your hands off of me, you damn, dirty shark..robot..thing!" And with that well-thought out and even better executed insult, he brings the box down to connect with the Sharkitcon's head. Whirl strikes Sharkticon with Mystery Box!. Gnaw gets clobbered, and some sense knocked into him? Well not really. But he does transform and swing his mace over his head, hoping to connect the round spiky end with Whirl's head. Gnaw transforms into his robot mode. Gnaw misses Whirl with his Spikey Tail Mace of Doom™ attack. Whirl was built with a horse shoe up his ass,apparently, because that spiked (and painful-looking) mace sailed harmlessly over his head. "Arrgh! Get away from me! I grow tired of this and wish to go home!" His left hand paws around the ground for a few seconds before grabbing on to what can only be described as a 'big honkin' stick' that happens to be on fire. Hey, he never got to finish with the water dumping, after all. "Gaaaaaahhhhhahahah, get away!" Whirl begins to beat Gnaw repeatedly with it. Whirl strikes Gnaw with Big Honkin' Stick. Gnaw wasn't expecting to get a beatdown with a big ol' stick. So he transforms and charges again, mouth open wide. Trying once again to eat Whirl--or at least eat the stupid stick. Apparently beatings make Sharkticons hungrier. Gnaw transforms into his Sharkticon mode. Gnaw strikes Whirl with evisceration. "Oh, good. He's leaving," Whirl sighs as he watches Gnaw transform. "Now I can-OH PRIMUS, WHY!?" is all he can scream as the Sharkticon devours not only his burning stick, but also his entire arm up to the elbow joint. "Gaaha, what did I ever do to deserve this!?" MANY YEARS AGO Whirl is throwing rocks into the Sharkticon exhibit at the Zoo. NOW Whirl begins to punch Gnaw in the face. Whirl strikes Sharkticon with Fist of Fury!. The Sharkticon om nom noms on Whirl. Trying to get a meal out of the deal, he attempts to eat the part of the Autobot that he's currently nomming on. This one's tasty, yes... Gnaw misses Whirl with his drain attack. Anubis descends from the skies above. Anubis has arrived. Whirl continues to beat Gnaw in the face untill his arm gets tired. Then he starts kicking him instead. These amazing combat skills are what makes him a Wrecker, folks. Whirl strikes Sharkticon with Foot to the Face. The Sharkticon doesn't give up just yet. He tries slashing at the Autobot with his claws again. This time with more force. Gnaw misses Whirl with his slash attack. Beckon signal set.. an autobot and a decepticon located. Targets found... A dark figure moved over the sky, it was far taller then a human, but not as tall has a cybertronian, perhaps maybe just a bit shorter then a minibot, as he hovered near the ground, it kept its position. The figure itself looked like the Jackel-god, Anubis-- only in a mecha like form. He crossed his arms over her chest for now, just watching with those gold optics flickering. Whirl is stuck. That's all there is to it. No amount of pulling, tugging, or kicks to the face is going to free his arm from the monster's clenched jaws. "I've had enough of this you robotic pit bull!" Whirl does the only thing he can; he positions his free 'hand' over the trapped elbow joint and begins to smash it over and over and over again. Crunch, crack, creak. All the glorious sounds of metal on metal impact are heard as he essentially breaks his arm in half. Once the excruciating ordeal is over, Whirl will be free and Gnaw will have a forearm to slobber all over. Whirl strikes Whirl with Blunt Amputation. The Sharkticon contentedly chaws onna Whirl-arm. Ahhh, fed at last. Om nom nom. Whirl lifts his severed limb up and waves it around, splattering oil all over himself. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH" Well, more like he lifts his stump. The jackel-god shakes his head softly at the mess. These, were the mighty warriors of Cybertron-- how.. pathetic.. Whirl continues to scream at his stump until the shock is out of his system. Then he remembers why he was here in the first place. Something about a fire, right? He turns around only to see the fire he intended to put out has died off, but not before taking a good half of the forest with it. "...I hope I don't have to write a report about this.." Gnaw's still eating Whirl's arm...and once he's done with it, he might decide to go back for more. The Shark-beast slobbers and gnashes like a barbarian with bad table manners as he feeds. Someone download Ms. Manner's guide to table manners plx? Anubis lands down fully and steps foreward, "You do realize," Speaking to the sharkticon as he walks foreward, "It is improper to rip off the arm of your foe.. then.. gnaw on it with such bad manners." The makes a 'tsk tsk' motion. "For shame." The Sharkticon gazes incredulously at the Robo-Egyptian Deity. After he finishes eating the arm--with much more loud crunching and slobbering--he transforms. "Hungry," he says simply. Whirl runs away, screaming through the burnt remains of the forest. Anubis cants his head. The head fins spread out, "Hungry? I appologize. I am not a piece of food." The jackel-god stepped back as the gold optics flickered, ready for an attack to come. Gnaw no comprende not-food. He considers everything to be edible, even if it ends up not being food. So he gets out his Gauss rifle and aims it at the mecha-jackal-god, to soften him up before taking him down. Not like Gnaw can hit the broad side of Metroplex, but at least he gets points for trying. Gnaw transforms into his robot mode. Gnaw misses Anubis with his Gauss attack. The jackel-god mecha dodges the attack before he moves foreward toward the much larger machine. If anyone knew earth technology-- this was a very, very heavily modified exo-suit, however much so-- well really, it didn't look like one. The exo then leaped into the air, using the anti-gravs on his back to blast a electrical blast for the Sharkticon. Anubis strikes Gnaw with Shock-blast. Gnaw isn't that happy with getting blasted with energy from the mecha-Jackal-god's hands. And decides to try to remove them. With his teeth. Gnaw transforms into his Sharkticon mode. Gnaw misses Anubis with his Bite attack. Anubis avoids the attack once more, and as the Sharkticon gets close, he spins himself around in the air to back-hand the creature back toward the ground, "If you are wise, beast.." The gold optics flicker brightly, "..you will give up this act and take your leave.. or be destroyed. The choice is yours to make.. This is my only warning I give." Anubis strikes Sharkticon with Backhand. Nobody accused Gnaw of being wise, but the Sharkticon does know a difficult meal when he sees it. Considering the damage he's already taken, his peanut-sized processor finally clues in and the 486-running-Windows Vista decides to call it a day. He flies off in search of repairs and free energon. Gnaw begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Anubis. It was tempting for the jackel-god mecha to fire a bolt, but-- he with-holds himself to doing so. He just watches the Sharkticon flee. "..Good.." Before he flies back into the air once more. Anubis takes flight to the Skies above Western Europe. Anubis has left. Gnaw takes flight to the Skies above Western Europe. Gnaw has left.